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The fine art of sticking my foot in my mouth
Okay, so here's a tip. NEVER assume it's the boyfriend's car. EV-AR. She
has the keys, it's HERS. Got it?
Second tip. Built like a brick and wearing a muscle shirt? Yeah, she'd be
happy to kick your ass, and you'd look awful funny fighting back too. Plus
you'd hurt your hand on her face....:) I guess the list isn't as forward
thinking as I thought. I'd have likely assumed it was a "no boyfriend"
situation. But we all know about "ass-u-me"ing eh? (Reminds me of a car ad
we had here, Dad and daughter are sitting on the front porch, she's headed
out on a date. Date pulls up in a sedate, sensible car, Dad proclaims,
without even looking at the driver, "I like him". But it isn't a "him" :)
(there's another in the series with a tatooed/pierced guy at the wheel)
Cathy
On 11:55 pm 03/13/07 "John S. Lagnese" <jlagnese@massed.net> wrote:
> At least she didn't kick your ass!
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Chris Bennett" <scirocco16vr32@gmail.com>
> To: "Scirocco List" <scirocco-l@scirocco.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 9:40 PM
> Subject: The fine art of sticking my foot in my mouth
>
>
> > I'll try to make this a short one but it's kinda funny.
> >
> > I was in the Scirocco coming back from my neck breaker doc--I
> > screwed up my lower back something awful. (It's minor I am
> > already much better--just hurt like hell for bit there) I was
> > going home as I said and I saw pretty red R32 go by. Tinted,
> > polished recently (compared to mine that has crud on it), being
> > driven a little agressively.
> > Ah I thinks to meself. I must go and introduce myself to the good
> > sir, so that we may converse about the finer things in life. The
> > car pulled into a appt complex, I was too late to make the turn
> > but was able to go into the secondary entrance. It takes a couple
> > minutes to navigate through and I was rewarded with finding the
> > car parked by the curb with an attractive young lady in the
> > passenger seat.
> > Hell I thought there could be worse company to keep until he comes
> > back out.
> >
> > Now you have to picture the scene I am still in my car about 15
> > feet away stopped. I see someone come down the steps from the
> > upstairs appt, 5ft something, broad shoulders, muscle shirt, crew
> > cut...
> > Ahh this must be the lad in question...
> >
> > Gets in the car I pull up, roll down the window, R32 windows goes
> > down and two things immediately hit me. First there was so much
> > shiny jewelry in the face... it was a human pin cushion. I don't
> > think I have ever seen that many piercings... at least not in a
> > face. Second... it wasn't a Lad. It was a Lass.
> >
> > Of course I must have looked and sounded like a complete idiot.
> >
> > "..."
> >
> > "...um nice car."
> >
> > "Yea."
> >
> > "Are you on vortex?"
> >
> > "What?"
> >
> > "VWvortex, it's a site for volkswagens."
> >
> > "No. Never heard of it"
> >
> > Now at this point I think I should have picked on the fact that she
> > was apparently very angry. In hindsight I am pretty sure it was
> > because I had a penis. This is where I stuck said foot in said
> > mouth, because I had not picked up the visual clues.
> >
> > "Is that your boyfriend's car?" I swear to God I think I heard the
> > music in her car abruptly stop, complete with the needle going
> > across the turntable sound effect. She held up her right hand
> > which was intertwined with the girls in the passenger seat.
> >
> > "Oh" I said not being able to manage much else besides the size 10
> > 1/2 in my mouth.
> >
> > She kinda glanced my car up and down and asked... "Is that your
> > boyfriend's car?"
> >
> > "..." I said.
> >
> > She revved her engine impatiently.
> >
> > "Ok well now... you guys (wince) have a nice day." And I drove
> > off. What the hell do you say in response? There is no snappy
> > comeback to that. I said something dumb and she shut me up. I
> > assumed something and got a good reality check. I deserved it I
> > suppose.
> > Anyhow I hope my humiliation was good for a chuckle at least.
> >
> > Chris
> >
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> >
>
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