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The fine art of sticking my foot in my mouth



At least she didn't kick your ass!
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Chris Bennett" <scirocco16vr32@gmail.com>
To: "Scirocco List" <scirocco-l@scirocco.org>
Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 9:40 PM
Subject: The fine art of sticking my foot in my mouth


> I'll try to make this a short one but it's kinda funny.
>
> I was in the Scirocco coming back from my neck breaker doc--I screwed
> up my lower back something awful.  (It's minor I am already much
> better--just hurt like hell for bit there)  I was going home as I said
> and I saw pretty red R32 go by.  Tinted, polished recently (compared
> to mine that has crud on it), being driven a little agressively.
>
> Ah I thinks to meself.  I must go and introduce myself to the good
> sir, so that we may converse about the finer things in life.  The car
> pulled into a appt complex, I was too late to make the turn but was
> able to go into the secondary entrance.  It takes a couple minutes to
> navigate through and I was rewarded with finding the car parked by the
> curb with an attractive young lady in the passenger seat.
>
> Hell I thought there could be worse company to keep until he comes back 
> out.
>
> Now you have to picture the scene I am still in my car about 15 feet
> away stopped.  I see someone come down the steps from the upstairs
> appt, 5ft something, broad shoulders, muscle shirt, crew cut...
>
> Ahh this must be the lad in question...
>
> Gets in the car I pull up, roll down the window, R32 windows goes down
> and two things immediately hit me.  First there was so much shiny
> jewelry in the face... it was a human pin cushion.  I don't think I
> have ever seen that many piercings... at least not in a face.
> Second... it wasn't a Lad.  It was a Lass.
>
> Of course I must have looked and sounded like a complete idiot.
>
> "..."
>
> "...um nice car."
>
> "Yea."
>
> "Are you on vortex?"
>
> "What?"
>
> "VWvortex, it's a site for volkswagens."
>
> "No. Never heard of it"
>
> Now at this point I think I should have picked on the fact that she
> was apparently very angry.  In hindsight I am pretty sure it was
> because I had a penis.  This is where I stuck said foot in said mouth,
> because I had not picked up the visual clues.
>
> "Is that your boyfriend's car?"  I swear to God I think I heard the
> music in her car abruptly stop, complete with the needle going across
> the turntable sound effect.  She held up her right hand which was
> intertwined with the girls in the passenger seat.
>
> "Oh" I said not being able to manage much else besides the size 10 1/2
> in my mouth.
>
> She kinda glanced my car up and down and asked... "Is that your
> boyfriend's car?"
>
> "..." I said.
>
> She revved her engine impatiently.
>
> "Ok well now... you guys (wince) have a nice day."  And I drove off.
> What the hell do you say in response?  There is no snappy comeback to
> that.  I said something dumb and she shut me up.  I assumed something
> and got a good reality check.  I deserved it I suppose.
>
> Anyhow I hope my humiliation was good for a chuckle at least.
>
> Chris
>
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