The fine art of sticking my foot in my mouth

[scirocco16vr32 at gmail.com (Chris Bennett)]

I'll try to make this a short one but it's kinda funny.

I was in the Scirocco coming back from my neck breaker doc--I screwed
up my lower back something awful.  (It's minor I am already much
better--just hurt like hell for bit there)  I was going home as I said
and I saw pretty red R32 go by.  Tinted, polished recently (compared
to mine that has crud on it), being driven a little agressively.

Ah I thinks to meself.  I must go and introduce myself to the good
sir, so that we may converse about the finer things in life.  The car
pulled into a appt complex, I was too late to make the turn but was
able to go into the secondary entrance.  It takes a couple minutes to
navigate through and I was rewarded with finding the car parked by the
curb with an attractive young lady in the passenger seat.

Hell I thought there could be worse company to keep until he comes back out.

Now you have to picture the scene I am still in my car about 15 feet
away stopped.  I see someone come down the steps from the upstairs
appt, 5ft something, broad shoulders, muscle shirt, crew cut...

Ahh this must be the lad in question...

Gets in the car I pull up, roll down the window, R32 windows goes down
and two things immediately hit me.  First there was so much shiny
jewelry in the face... it was a human pin cushion.  I don't think I
have ever seen that many piercings... at least not in a face.
Second... it wasn't a Lad.  It was a Lass.

Of course I must have looked and sounded like a complete idiot.

"..."

"...um nice car."

"Yea."

"Are you on vortex?"

"What?"

"VWvortex, it's a site for volkswagens."

"No. Never heard of it"

Now at this point I think I should have picked on the fact that she
was apparently very angry.  In hindsight I am pretty sure it was
because I had a penis.  This is where I stuck said foot in said mouth,
because I had not picked up the visual clues.

"Is that your boyfriend's car?"  I swear to God I think I heard the
music in her car abruptly stop, complete with the needle going across
the turntable sound effect.  She held up her right hand which was
intertwined with the girls in the passenger seat.

"Oh" I said not being able to manage much else besides the size 10 1/2
in my mouth.

She kinda glanced my car up and down and asked... "Is that your
boyfriend's car?"

"..." I said.

She revved her engine impatiently.

"Ok well now... you guys (wince) have a nice day."  And I drove off.
What the hell do you say in response?  There is no snappy comeback to
that.  I said something dumb and she shut me up.  I assumed something
and got a good reality check.  I deserved it I suppose.

Anyhow I hope my humiliation was good for a chuckle at least.

Chris