Lightbulbs & hammers - i.e. F*cking Passats (long) - was Re: Tree Sap

[vwdaun at yahoo.com (Daun Yeagley)]

--- C Boyko <roccit_53@scirocco.cs.uoguelph.ca> wrote:

> >   Cathy, I changed out the head light bulbs on the mk4
> without
> > removing the battery, but now I have lost all feeling
> in my left had
> > from the 1/2in space inwhich to squeeze my hand into.
> But the
> > Silverstars make a world of difference compared to the
> H7's
> >   tonee
> >
> LOL, too funny, but I have the obligation to inform you
> that there is a new
> contender in the fight against newer VW lightbulbs, that
> being our familiar
> friend Mr. Daun Yeagley III. He can tell you how much fun
> they are too, but
> expect the subject to change to "Fucking Passats". (and
> not in a tender,
> loving way either). I'm expecting it will be as good a
> post as "how I put
> the hammer through the window of the house changing out a
> throttle body".
> At least as good...Daun?
> 
> Cathy, living vicariously through the disasters of
> others...

Oooooh, you just HAD to bring that up didn't you?  While
you're at it, why don't you "give me a papercut and pour
lemon juice on it."  (Name that movie!)

Ummm, yeah.  So let me see if I can un-repress this memory
of last week's horrid adventures in parking light bulb
replacements in B4 passats.  Nevermind that I was thinking
I was changing turn signal bulbs.

As of late, when using the right turn signal in the Passat,
it's been clicking fast, like there's a bulb out.  Sure
enough, the right bulb in the wrap-around behind the
headlight is not lighting up, no biggie.  Removed offending
bulb, ran to the FLAPS to pick up a two pack of bulbs and
proceeded to attempt replacement.  Bulb in socket, turn on
turn signal - no light.  Huh?  Ok, the left side doesn't
blink either.  Notice that the blinking light is in the
bumper only?  Also note that the right bulb in the bumper
actually does flash, but it's very dim?  Lovely German
wiring, and this car's only 8 years old.  Great.  Dummy,
it's the parking lights that I've been pricking with. 
Fine, put the left side back in...    nope, managed to
knock the bulb out of the socket.  No problem, I have a
spare.  Hmmm, ok, gotta remove the battery for my hand to
be able to twist in the proper direction...      still
can't.  Oh, and I need to remove lens from the outside of
the car to fish out the now dead bulb I knocked out of
socket.  Oh great, the lens delaminated.  But at least I
got the bulb back in the lens assembly, and the assembly
(save lens cover) back on the car.  Back to the right side.

I then proceed to twist my hand into directions it should
not bend to get the bulb in the holder.  Sh*t, the new bulb
fell out and is now MIA in the bowels of the front cross
member.  Screw it, finally get the bulb's holder back into
the lens assembly, sans bulb.

So that's how my Passat currently stands.  No lens cover on
the driver's side, and no bulb in the passenger side.  And
the turn signal still flashes fast when turning right.

Just for your amusement (while you're laughing at me,
thanks Mike & Cathy), here's a reprint of the September 3,
2003 post I made to the list concerning hammers:


I've been having some trouble with the throttle body on the
'86 sticking a little in the "idle" position.  Solution? 
Replace it with another TB that's laying around here. 
Should be an easy 15 minute project.

Oh no.  Not for me.

I figured I'd be reaaaaally careful not to round those
little hex bolts, tapping the wrench in with a hammer &
all...    worked for two of the four.  The front two bolts
rounded right off without noticable hesitation.

Fine.  Solution number one, find a slightly larger standard
allen wrench and tap THAT in there.  Tapped & tapped, got
it in there real tight and....    rounded right off, again,
without much hesitation.

Solution number two, vice grips.  Not a chance in hell,
just slipped off the bolt.

Ok, try solution one again.  Tapped & tapped and....   
threw the hammer off into the grass next to the car.  How
in the HELL it bounced the way it did I haven't a clue, but
it proceeded to go airborne about six feet and into the
living room window.

F*CK.

I gave up for the night.



At least I'm having better luck working on this poor '86
this week.  The "diagnose the assrunning condition" has
turned into injector o-rings / cam / timing belt /
tensioner / passenger engine mount replacement.


Daun Yeagley - Wilmington Ohio
'81 Scirocco S               '86 Scirocco 8v
'88 Scirocco 16v             '88 Scirocco Slegato 
'96 Passat GLX Wagon         '56 Cessna 172
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts - Ehrlich's Law.

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