Some Universal Laws (Known to everyone who has a Scirocco)

[bmcfadde at comcast.net (Barry McFadden)]

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
--Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

 

Identical parts aren't.
--Beach's Law

 

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
--Anthony's Law of the Workshop

 

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
--Tussman's Law

 

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
--Lowery's Law

 

The solution to a problem changes the problem.
--Peer's Law

 

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by
brute strength and ignorance.
--William's Law

 

Handy Guide to Modern Science:
        1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology.
        2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry.
        3. If it doesn't work, it's Physics.

 

Machines should work. People should think.
--IBM's Pollyanna Principle:

 

The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where
they can do the least damage - management.
--The Dilbert Principle

 

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
--Ehrlich's Law

 

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a
hurry.
--Ralph's Observation

 

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the
next morning you will have a flat tire.
--Cannon's Comment