[non-scirocco] Styling rant (long as hell)

[Benton Yoshida <byoshida@zygote.hsc.usc.edu>]

	Went to the L.A. auto show a week ago and got to see a bunch of
cars in the metal and came away with some impressions.

	All of the press gushings about VW's feel and look of quality are
on the mark.  The doors close with a Mercedes-like "thunk."  There are
thoughtful touches like a (rather flimsy looking) t-handle that pops out
when the hood release is pulled  for unlatching the bonnet to save you from
groping around for the release lever.  The hydraulic clutch and cable(?)
shifter feel great.  Nice, new light metallic green and copper paints.  On
the other hand, VW's styling is bland, bland, bland.  Did I mention bland?
Granted the A4 Jetta doesn't look like a Hyundai as the A3 did but it just
looks like a 7/8 scale version of the Passat which in turn looks nowhere as
stylish as the previous model.  Clean, yes, but to the point of sterility.
The only exception is the New Beetle which is a brilliant updating of the
most recognizable shape in the automobile kingdom.  Unfortunately, trunk
space is at a premium and one could safely land the Concorde on its
dashboard.
	There seems to be a disturbing trend toward homogenization and loss
of "bite" of German car styling.  The Audi A4 is a terrific looking car but
it may have been the harbinger of cars which have a similar "puffy" look to
them but not done as well.  The BMW 3 and 5 series look like clones save
for the headlights and size.  And to my eyes, neither look as nice as their
predecessors.  The new Porsche 911 (nee 996) is as visually arousing as a
Geo Metro.  For me, the 911 series reached its styling zenith with the SC
models of the late 70's - early 80's.  Unfortunately, at the autoshow, I
saw evidence that the bland styling virus is contagious: namely, new small
sedans from Volvo (S40?) and Lexus which look like equally anonymous 3
series knockoffs.
	The Audi TT certainly looks distinctive and I applaud Audi for
coming up with such a daring design but did it have to be so ugly?  File
this one next to the AMC Pacer and original Datsun 200SX.
	Chrysler definitely has the styling gods smiling on them.  I
thought the new Neon to be a nice updating of the current car and every
time I see one on the road, I still can't believe the current Intrepid is
not a one-off show car from one of the great Italian design houses.  Not
all of Chrysler's designs are viceless and they tend not to age well but at
least they will turn your head for a few years.  The Mercury Cougar is a
terrific looking car.  They had two modified versions and both were nice if
a bit boy racerish.  I like the "new edge" designs from Ford.  The new
edgeification of the '99 Mustang, however, screams, "whoops!"  It doesn't
look any better in person than it does in photos.
	Sad to say but except for the F355, Ferrari (or Pininfarina) has
totally dropped the ball in the styling department.  The 456GT and 550
Maranello look pretty damn anonymous.  What's the point in owning a Ferrari
if some punk's Eclipse looks more exotic?
	Since at least one person on this list is interested, I'll report
that the Honda S2000 is a crisply styled car although it is also pretty
pedestrian looking.  I was surprised at how flared its front fenders
were--it was never very evident in pictures.
	Although I won't have to see it myself, I can't contain my anger at
VW for renaming the A4 Jetta a Bora in Europe.  Why out of an almost
infinite number of names do they have to pick "Bora?"  I realize it's a VW
custom to use wind names for their cars but Maserati's been doing this
longer than VW has.  So what's next, the VW Ghibli and Mistral?  To put it
in perspective, how would the Honda Countach or Ford Testarossa go over
with most of you?  Thanks for letting me bleed some venom but I'm still
pissed.


*Disclaimer*  Most of my beefs are restricted to styling only, I can't
comment on performance, reliability, safety, the ability to attract dates,
etc.



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