German language [was German cars...]

[Scott Pidgeon <spidgeon@yahoo.com>]

- ---Jason <jason@scirocco.org> wrote:
>
> Shree yeears in Tsjermany haeve halped me to lurn to schpeak fluent
> Tsjerman... und to heve a akssent lyke a real Tsjerman.
> 
> Fluent.
> 
> Jason

Hmm, now that you mention it...

>The European Union Commissioners have just announced that agreement
has 
>been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European 
>communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
>
>As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that 
>English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 
>five-year phased plan for what will be known as "Euro-English" or
"Euro" 
>for short.)
>
>In the first year "s" will be used in place of the "soft c". 
Sertainly, 
>sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.  Also the "hard c"
will 
>be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but 
>typewriters kan have one less letter.
>
>There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the 
>troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f".  This will make words like 
>"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
>
>In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted 
>to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. 
>Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have 
>always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre that the 
>horible mes of the "silent e" in the languag is disgrasful, and they 
>would go.
>
>By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 
>"th" by "z" and "w" by "v".
>
>During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining 
>"ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of 
>letters.
>
>After zis fifz yer, ve wil have a reli sensibl riten styl.  Zer vil be 
>no mor trubles or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand 
>ech ozer.  Ze drem vi finali kum tru.

Scott



- ---Jason <jason@scirocco.org> wrote:
>
> At 11:26 PM 9/25/98 , Greg Frenzel wrote:
> >I seem to remember some academic basking-- uh bashing a little while
> >ago...
> >
> >hey how many of us crazy german car drivers actually speak german?
> 
> Shree yeears in Tsjermany haeve halped me to lurn to schpeak fluent
> Tsjerman... und to heve a akssent lyke a real Tsjerman.
> 
> Fluent.
> 
> Jason
> 
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