OT: Not so Arrrgh!!! (Long)

[scirocco16vr32 at gmail.com (Chris Bennett)]

All (who aren't tired of my incessant blathering yet),
    I accepted the job in San Francisco.  I am looking at Fairfield
California near the Air Force base (for some reason those military guys have
cheaper housing LOL)  I don't anticipate actually moving before May.  The
company is going to put me through the training before they release me into
the wild.  (they told me to keep the house here in VA until at least April
1.)
    I finally rationalized it, found the info I was looking for, and
accepted with the company.  I cut the headhunter guy out of the loop.  Screw
him.  I am sure he will still get a commission, but I am all for letting him
sweat a little.  I have been eating Tylenol like candy for all the stress
headaches.
    I want the most difficult thing I have to worry about between now and 30
January is what I am going to do with the Bushmaster M-4.  I have an
EXCELLENT way to store and transport it, you would never know it was a
weapon but I am not try to go to San Quentin either.  This is was actually
born out of necessity as I am ultra paranoid about getting pulled over on
the way to the range in Norfolk.  You see the standard bushmaster case is
too long to put in the trunk of the car the only way I can transport it in
that case is to have it slid behind the front scirocco seats.  I disassemble
the weapon, and it all fits in the tool box.  I have one of the medium size
Craftsman tool boxes and when you pull the tray, the upper and lower
reciever assemblies fit in there nicely when removed from each other.  I can
lock it, store it in my trunk, and unless I gave them some reason to be
suspicious and search me, nobody would every know it was there.  It has
occurred to me that tools are a highly pilferable item--I would hate for
it to fall into the hands of the bad guys because some free spirited
individual decided to redistribute my property.  So I think that the rifle
and at least one of the Scirocco's is going towards Seattle with my
wife's Dad.
     So if you are interested here's what the final offer was, aside from
salary.  Not trying to be tacky.  I don't mind telling individuals if you
really want to know I just think it's bad taste to wideband this info.  Not
that I have any problem with bad taste... LOL  We'll say that all told is
better than 50k.

Retirement package... 401k, profit sharing and a few other programs.
Full medical and Dental for about $100 a month.
Company pays 100% of pack and move to SF from Norfolk Va.  Also SHIPS
two vehicles.  (I'll drive #3)
Company pays for two house hunting trips to Bay area.
Company pays for storage up to 30 days, and up to 30 days in a hotel.
Company pays a car allowance (covers R32 payment) AND mileage.
Company provides Cell phone, laptop, tools, $500 for a fax copier, $500
for home office setup, $1000 for storage setup (shelves pegboards and such),
and $50 a month for broadband.
American Express card for all expenses monday through friday.

Now in return for all the goodies I will travel M-F, work maybe 6 weekends
a year, and they typically put in 12 hour days.  I expect to drink alot
(lol) It's not flying that bothers me, it's feeling like I am not "driving"
that scares the crap out of me.  Oh yea I forgot about the life insurance
and the death/dismemberment insurance.  I hope like hell I don't have to use
that bennie.

The company is Lutron they do commercial (mostly) and residential lighting
and dimming systems.  If you have a dimmer or variable speed ceiling fan
controller (wall switch style) chances are that it was manufactured whole or
in part by Lutron.

They tell me that typically a field service rep only stays in the field for
about 5 years and there are always openings nationwide.  I think that if I
get moved out there they won't be in a hurry to move me back east... At
least not on their dime.  So we'll see.  I LIKE the Bay area.  I liked it
the first time I was there in '95, it's just so damn far away from all of
our family with the exception of my father in law.  What was worrying me to
death was if I could afford to live there.  I hope to use the severance to
pay off all the misc bills and that will leave the R32 (which the company
will pay) so going out there I only need to cover my child support...
$700!!! and normal living expenses.  Most of the places I looked at had a
cost of living index of 150+ (100 being national average)  If it wasn't for
child support I would be in great shape.  I heard they figured out what
causes that... kids I mean.  ;)  $700 is just for the first two.  I can't
imagine what paying for four would do to me.  (I think that it's only
four... there was that VERY CRAZY three weeks in Hobart Tasmania...  That my
friends is a hell of a sea story for another time.)  I told my wife that if
she left me I was going to give up women.  That way I wouldn't be in any
danger of having more kids and I wouldn't have to give away half my shit
every few years.  She told me that I wouldn't have to worry about it she's
not going to divorce me.  She might kill me, but she won't divorce me.  My
father in law said it best... they should outlaw divorce and
legalize dueling again.  Ten paces, turn and fire.  Either way you are out
of your misery.  I think she's adopted that point of view.  Another reason
to leave the AR-15 out of Cali.

Speaking of which.  I actually heard LL Cool J's "Going back to Cali"  today
shortly after I accepted the offer.  I thought that was hilarious.  I think
it's a little hypocritical that ARNOLD--my new Governor, who was the star of
a movie called COMMANDO, where he singlehandedly carried more assault
weapons than a small platoon won't give me a break with my M-4.  Sigh.  The
bastages.  Oh well I'll get over it.  I can have pistols and shotguns.
Gotta keep back the freespirited individuals that feel I don't need my
stuff.

Well enough with the book already... I hear crickets chirping.

Chris
(Not feeling so much like Atlas anymore)