[Way OT - but canucks and brits will love this] The queenDeclares - After recent electrions...

[dagnamit at gmail.com (Brian Wagner)]

You are just sick, funny as hell but sick.

Brian


On Tue, 16 Nov 2004 15:15:04 -0600, Patrick Bureau
<patrick.bureau@gmail.com> wrote:
> <taken from joke email I got... and since the list is prtetty quiet.. I dared!>
> 
> NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE TO CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES
> OF AMERICA !
> 
> In light of your recent failure to make the correct decision in
> electing your President, thus showing you to be unfit to govern
> yourselves, we hereby give you notice of the revocation of your
> independence effective as of Monday 8th November 2004.
> 
> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
> duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except
> Utah, which she doesn't much fancy, and is frankly a bit dodgy.
> 
> Your new Prime Minister, the Rt. Hon. Tony Blair M.P. (for the 97.85%
> of you unaware of the outside world), will appoint a Minister for
> America without the need for further elections. Congress and the
> Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated in twelve
> months time to determine if any of you noticed.
> 
> To aid your transition into a British Crown Dependency, the following
> rules are introduced with immediate effect:
> 
> 1.    All citizens are to look up "revocation" in the Oxford English
> Dictionary. While there, check the pronunciation guide for "aluminium"
> - this may be surprising for you. Generally attempt to raise your
> vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same
> 27 words interspersed with "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable
> form of communication.  NB. Look up "interspersed".
> 
> 2.    There is no such thing as "U.S. English". We will let Microsoft
> know on your behalf.
> 
> 3.    Learn to distinguish between British and Australian accents.
> It's not difficult.
> 
> 4.    Hollywood will henceforth be required to occasionally cast
> Englishmen, as good guys.
> 
> 5.    Re-learn your original anthem, "God Save the Queen". Please
> ensure that you have complied with the first law before attempting
> this.
> 
> 6.    Stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
> "football". What you refer to as "football" is not a very good game.
> The 2.15% of you who aware of a world outside of your borders may have
> noticed that no one else plays it.
> Play proper football instead; to start with get the girls to help you
> - it is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, eventually,
> be allowed to play rugby, which is similar to American "football", but
> does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing
> full Kevlar body armour like nancies.
> 
> 7.    Declare war on Quebec and France, using nukes if they give you
> any merde. The 97.85% of you unaware of the outside world should count
> yourselves lucky - the Russians have never really been bad guys.  NB.
> "Merde" is French for "sh*t".
> 
> 8.    4th July is no longer a public holiday. 2nd November will be the new
> national holiday.
> 
> 9.    American cars are hereby banned. They are crap; its for your own good.
> When we show you German and Japanese cars you'll understand.
> 
> 10.   Please tell us who killed JFK. Its been driving us crazy.
> 
> THANK YOU FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.
> 
> --
> Patrick Bureau - patrick.bureau@gmail.com
> 85 Scirocco, 86 Rocco MKII Race Project
> '01 4L Jeep Cherokee Blue (Daily Driver)
> 
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