[Way OT - but canucks and brits will love this] The queen Declares- After recent electrions...

[patrick.bureau at gmail.com (Patrick Bureau)]

<taken from joke email I got... and since the list is prtetty quiet.. I dared!>

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE TO CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES
OF AMERICA !
 
In light of your recent failure to make the correct decision in
electing your President, thus showing you to be unfit to govern
yourselves, we hereby give you notice of the revocation of your
independence effective as of Monday 8th November 2004.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except
Utah, which she doesn't much fancy, and is frankly a bit dodgy.

Your new Prime Minister, the Rt. Hon. Tony Blair M.P. (for the 97.85%
of you unaware of the outside world), will appoint a Minister for
America without the need for further elections. Congress and the
Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated in twelve
months time to determine if any of you noticed.

To aid your transition into a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1.    All citizens are to look up "revocation" in the Oxford English
Dictionary. While there, check the pronunciation guide for "aluminium"
- this may be surprising for you. Generally attempt to raise your
vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same
27 words interspersed with "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable
form of communication.  NB. Look up "interspersed".

2.    There is no such thing as "U.S. English". We will let Microsoft
know on your behalf.

3.    Learn to distinguish between British and Australian accents.
It's not difficult.

4.    Hollywood will henceforth be required to occasionally cast
Englishmen, as good guys.

5.    Re-learn your original anthem, "God Save the Queen". Please
ensure that you have complied with the first law before attempting
this.

6.    Stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
"football". What you refer to as "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who aware of a world outside of your borders may have
noticed that no one else plays it.
Play proper football instead; to start with get the girls to help you
- it is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, eventually,
be allowed to play rugby, which is similar to American "football", but
does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing
full Kevlar body armour like nancies.

7.    Declare war on Quebec and France, using nukes if they give you
any merde. The 97.85% of you unaware of the outside world should count
yourselves lucky - the Russians have never really been bad guys.  NB.
"Merde" is French for "sh*t".

8.    4th July is no longer a public holiday. 2nd November will be the new
national holiday.

9.    American cars are hereby banned. They are crap; its for your own good.
When we show you German and Japanese cars you'll understand.

10.   Please tell us who killed JFK. Its been driving us crazy.

 
 THANK YOU FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION. 
  


-- 
Patrick Bureau - patrick.bureau@gmail.com
85 Scirocco, 86 Rocco MKII Race Project
'01 4L Jeep Cherokee Blue (Daily Driver)