[WTF] "Can we work something out?" (long)

[jason_f_snow@nac.net (Jason F. Snow)]

Sooo,

Last night I'm in my office around 1:10 AM. When I hear a beep and
several loud smashes. I hesitate for a minute because I really wasn't up
for looking at any carnage. Then, my wife knocks on my door and tells me
to go outside. When I get out there. I notice that my 81 Scirocco that I
have put close to $ 10,000 into isn't where it used to be. Instead of
it's usual spot it is snuggled closely to my wife's 96 Jetta. "Hmmm..."
I think as I approach our parking lot (we live above a hair salon and
share a parking lot with MY insurance company). When I approach I notice
an SUV with a flat front tire trying to flee the scene. I approach the
inebriated gentleman's truck asking him to "please step out of the
vehicle" or something to that effect. He makes the mistake of rolling
down his window (his door was locked). I reach in a take hold of his
jacket and explain to him how imperative it was to his health and
well-being to remove himself from the car (he was buckled in, and no
matter how hard I tugged, I couldn't extract him). He continues to try
and escape with me holding onto him. I then reiterate the importance of
his timely extraction. Realizing that I was less than pleased, he
agreed. 

My wife calls the police as I proceed to put my fists through the wooden
fence that divides my yard and the detailer next door. I ask him "ARE
YOU F&CKING STUPID!? ARE YOU DRUNK!?" He says "yes", but then quickly
changes his story. "My tire blew out!" Here's what he did:

Flew off the road and hit the front of our house (the salon part). In
the process he ripped the iron bars from around their walkway right off
the house, and manages to rip a beam holding the front porch up from
it's roots. Then, he drove past our cars missing them by inches (my
wife's account). He tries to get away through the detailers parking lot,
but met a dead end. Then, he proceeds to back up through the wooden
fence into my car, pushing it into the Jetta. Nice huh ? He then asks me
if he can take a piss. I tell him "sure, why not!" I mean go ahead dude,
you might as well piss on our property too...THEN, after my wife calls
the police and I um "Restrain" him (noticed the capital "R"), he asks me
"can we work something out..." Ummm..."Do you have about $ 50,000 on
you? You f&cking piece of sh&t?!" He's in jail, I'm on about 2 hours
sleep....

Damage Report:
Scirocco - Both rear quarter panels dented (pass. Side pretty smushed),
bumper cover ripped off, hatch kinked a bit.

Jetta - Pass. Quarter panel dented.

Accidents stats:
Scirocco - 1, I haven't even registered it yet
Jetta - 7 that's right 7 ---AND--- We just got it back from the auto
body shop! 2 were my wife and myself's fault.

Welcome to New England!

Later,

Jason F. Snow
Mobile: (781)223-5966
Zodiac Systems
Information Technology Consultant