Re: superchips ??? (need another fix man!)

[Eric L Ellis <elf16v@juno.com>]

I first heard 'Superchips' offered a chip for CIS-E back in '96 while
working in retail parts. "Hot DAMN!", I thought as I called them up and
asked what gains could be expected and how much the chip was. Their
salesman/expert/crack smoker said it was $299.99 plus shipping, and on a
stock "sheroka" motor I could expect a 15% gain across the board.
(apparently this dope fiend was using "Autotech Math")

After a few more minutes of him telling me more about the gains to
throttle response, improved 0-60 and 1/4 mile speeds I asked him to send
me one. (The store would be paying for it and I could test it!) "Oh no,
we don't sell the chip outright. You'll need to send us you ECU and we do
the installation here.", he said, "Then we'll mail it back to you."  I
got the shipping info and asked how many of these they'd done. He told me
they had installed "dozens" and get a couple in a week. I hung up,
leaving him with the impression that mine was on the way and more crack
money would be inclosed, but relayed the info to friends and coworkers.
Everyone had a good laugh.

THE PURPOSE FOR THIS POST:
About three weeks later, I remembered 'Superchips' and, being the phone
prank master that I am, gave them a call. I started off like a man that
could barely contain his anger. "I wanna know what YOU people did to my
car!" I barked. I told them my ECU for my '87 16v GTI had come back, I
installed it, and the car wouldn't start. They tried to get my name,
shipping address, or whatever but yours truly had none of that. I told
them that unless the wanted me down there knockin' some heads together,
they'd better refund my money and tell me how to remove their chip.

"We don't actually install a chip into those ECUs. All we do is remove
the rev limiter so there's no reason that the work we did should cause
your car to not run.", he said between tokes. I was really getting into
it, no customers were in the store, so I let 'em have it. "You charged me
THREE HUNDRED MOTHER F*#!@%G DOLLARS TO REMOVE THE REV LIMITER?!?  WHAT
ELSE DID YOU MONKEY F@$#&%G IDIOTS SCREW UP IN THERE? I've had it,
somebody's gonna..." <click>

I hung up because I could no longer keep my coworkers quiet...and they
were cracking me up. I was able to store that little nugget of
information away and keep it so no one else would be screwed. Now I share
it with all of you.

Eric
Good, bad...I'm the guy with the gun!
http://www.geocities.com/blitzkrieg16v
AOL IM: OneSixV
MSN ID: OneSixV
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