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RE: Car-o-scope Blues



<snip FreshApple>
What's up with Click and Clack's recommendation for everyone to go out
and buy a Peugeot 505 for their no. 1 pick?
<end FreshApple>

Well, I don't seem to have the same vehicles popping up that others are
getting.  No Ford Probe and no Peugeot.  Check it out (shortened version
with a couple of notes thrown in):

Boy oh boy, Brad, you picked a vehicle that just isn't quite right for you,
although you're reasonably compatible in terms of your age, your educational
level, and status consciousness.
When compared to other people who drive a Volkswagen Scirocco, you care a
bit too much about your car compared to other Volkswagen Scirocco owners,
you make way too much money to be driving a Volkswagen Scirocco, other
Volkswagen Scirocco owners are far more willing to take risks than you are,
you're more generous than other owners, and you're a bit too 'touchy-feely'
For your further edification, here's a little further elucidation on these
personality characteristics.
My dear, it appears that other Volkswagen Scirocco owners just don't care as
much about their cars as you do. (My note:  You've got to be f'n kidding.
This is one of the only groups of people I know who store a $2500 car for
the winter)  You're going to have to lighten up on this if you insist on
driving a Volkswagen Scirocco. But, since this is probably a basic character
flaw and therefore unchangeable, you probably will have to buy a new car to
get your carma in balance.
OK, so you're a bit of a wuss--or is it woos?--when it comes to taking
chances. So, why are you driving a Volkswagen Scirocco? Eh?
We agree that there are lots of dangers out there--and you're perfectly
justified in attempting to insulate yourself from them. Car-O-Scope will try
to suggest some vehicles that are more in line with your risk-taking
profile.
Compared to most other Volkswagen Scirocco owners, you certainly aren't the
type who squeezes a nickel to see if the buffalo will cough up a dime. (My
note:  Translation:  You're all a bunch of cheap bastards.  I guess you'd
have to be to drop over $100 on a set of spark plug wires for a 16V (sic).)
No, not you. Quite the contrary. Let's face it, you're far too generous a
person to be driving a Volkswagen Scirocco. So continue to "cast your bread
upon the waters," and Car-O-Scope will find a vehicle that's more compatible
with your generous nature.
Some of us have an overdeveloped left brain and some have an overdeveloped
right brain. And your strength is definitely on the right: the more
creative, touchy-feely side. This is not a bad thing. The world certainly
does need poets, musicians and people to work on the world psychic network.
But this characteristic does make you somewhat incompatible with your
Volkswagen Scirocco. Other Volkswagen Scirocco owners are more objective and
logical. But you are what you are, so take your pick: Change what you are or
get a new car. (That rhymes, doesn't it? And rhyming is a right-brain thing.
Cool.)
Car-O-Scope Makes Suggestions for More Compatible Vehicles
Have no fear, Car-O-Scope is here to save you from a life of misery,
depression and hemorrhoidal flare-ups. Through a secret and proprietary
process (patent pending) the official car-o-scope has determined that your
psychographic and demographic profile is far more compatible with the
following vehicles: some of these suggestions might surprise you. But try to
keep an open mind. It's quite possible that the car-o-scope has discovered
some hidden and/or repressed aspects of your personality.
1.	Honda Passport  <<< I thought they said I wasn't status conscious.  If
not why would I buy a rebadged Izusu instead of the Isuzu for 4 grand less?
2.	BMW 328i  <<<Ugh.  Friends don't let friends drive Bimmers.
3.	BMW 2002 <<<It's an Alfa Julietta Ti without the electrical issues.
Where's the fun in that?
4.	Acura Vigor <<<You will be assimilated.
5.	Oldsmobile Cutlass <<<This was my Grandmother's car.  Seriously.


So, let's look at your compatibility profile vis-a-vis the Honda Passport.
If you dumped that Volkswagen Scirocco and got yourself a Honda Passport,
you'd be a lot happier. (My note:  I can't even tell you how depressed this
last sentence makes me.  That's double jeopardy.  A SUV *and* a Honda.)

- Brad
'86.5 Volkswagen Scirocco 16v
'76 International Scout II




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