Fw: [Corrado-L] funny stuff

["Alex Ting" <alex@millenniumsolutions.net>]

from the corrado list........

(see, sometimes there are funny guys on that list)


Alex Ting
Account Manager
Millennium Solutions Group, Inc.
575 Menlo Dr. #4
Rocklin, CA  95765

Phone:  888.801.2001 ext. 228 or 916.630.2001
Fax:  916.630.2000
email:  alex@millenniumsolutions.net
icq #19613213
-----Original Message-----
From: VWMSport@aol.com <VWMSport@aol.com>
To: corrado-l@corrado-club.com <corrado-l@corrado-club.com>
Date: Wednesday, August 04, 1999 4:44 PM
Subject: [Corrado-L] funny stuff


>
>-You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
>-You take your helmet along when you go to a car dealership for a
>test-drive.
>-Every time you go to the grocery store you feel
>compelled to beat your previous best time.
>-You think it's normal to have the outside edge of your
>tires worn down. If fact, you prefer it because you have
>"better" traction now.
>-When something falls off of your car, you wonder how
>much weight you just saved.
>-When you hear 'overcooked it,' instead of food you
>think 'off the track.'
>-You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how
>to drive around a highway off-ramp.
>-You once had an argument with your wife over whether
>you should pay the mortgage on time or get those new
>heads while they were on sale.
>-You push your cart through a proper line in the grocery
>store.
>-You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
>-You bought a tow vehicle instead of braces for your kid.
>-You and your wife go house hunting and you never
>actually get inside the house because you're checking
>out the garage for 220v.
>-You sit in your car in the dark out in your garage and
>make car noises and shift and practice your heel and
>toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the
>machine shop.
>-Your wife doesn't understand why you need three sets of
>tires for your car.
>-Your garage holds more cars than your house has
>bedrooms.
>-You have car parts in your cubicle at work.
>-You're registered for wedding gifts at Edlebrock and
>Griggs.
>-Your Christmas list begins with another set of BFG R1s
>and aluminum rack bushings and your 'significant other'
>knows what these are.
>-Your home library consists of auto parts catalogs,
>books written by F1 drivers, anything about Carroll
>Shelby, and 400 car magazines.
>-Your family brings the couch into the garage so they
>can spend some time with you.
>-You complain when cars in front of you on highway
>off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit
>speed to drop.
>-A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you
>query, "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Corn."
>-You refer to the corner down the street from your house
>as "Turn One."
>-You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a
>few cars coming out.
>-You can't stand anyone telling others how to drive. Of
>course, you are the best.
>-You will gladly pay up to $8 for a quart of engine oil.
>-You hate long distance driving vacations, but you will
>gladly drive 800 miles to the race track.
>-You think that traction control and ABS are for those
>who can't drive.
>-You save broken car parts as " mementos".
>-You've tried synthetic oil and racing gas in your lawn
>mower.
>-You've tweaked your riding lawn mower to improve
>its cornering ability.
>-Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have timeslips.
>-You would choose a rollbar over air conditioning if it
>were an option.
>-White smoke coming out from under your tires is a
>common sight.
>-You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily
>commute.
>-After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on your
>vacation she answers: "Why... is there a race there?"
>-You have race shops programmed on your speed dialer.
>-You own five cars and only one of them is street legal.
>
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