OHMYGOD!

[tudor@tvo.org (Michael Helms)]

Guys, I'm totally stoked.  I mean, I just had the wickedest, baddest, most
totally rockin' morning that anyone with a Volkswagen has ever had.  I AM
DA MAN!

So here I am, feeling kinda bummed this morning ... nothing particularly
exciting on the plate for the day ... decide to take an old battery down
to the recycling depot here in Guelph.  I load said battery into the trunk
of my car (with a garbage bag around it to keep from leaking shit on my
carpet), and I go to the recycling depot.

So I pull in, and there's a guy in a Saleen Mustang there.  I spot a black
Golf behind it, and decide I shall park and gloat over this penis on
wheels (the Mustang, that is).  Owner of said mustang is chatting (hitting
on, turns out) with the owner of said black Golf.

Guys, I almost fucking shit myself when I took a good look at the Golf. 
It was the SAME Golf GTI I saw last week!  Sweet mother of Jesus, if there
ever was a sign from heaven ...

... anyways, I go back to my car before I am spotted.  I need to think
about this, and plan carefully.  The jerkoff with the Saleen appears very
self-absorbed, and I can see that Ms. GTI is becoming slightly
disinterested.  Neither have noticed me or my car.  I started my car, and
pulloed out of the parking spot ... made a nice sweeping arc through the
parking lot and backed into the spot next to Ms. GTI.  Revved the engine a
bit so she could hear the sweet sounds from the SuperSprint.  Then, I set
my plan into action.

I got out of my car, and coolly looked surprised to see her.  She
recognized the car, and immediately got out of her car and came over to
me.  Mr. Saleen is obviously annoyed by this, and starts his car.  Revs
the engine a bit, and I have to admit the V8 does sound nice ... but the
girl is talking to ME ME ME, and he can have all the V8's in the world,
'cause this chick is baaaaaaaad .... I mean, just looking at her and her
car rocks my world.

Anyways, she asked me coyly if I was following her around ... I told her
that I lived in Guelph, so it must be her following me.  We both smile. 
Mr. Saleen is gone, but amazingly, neither of us heard him leave.  I asked
her what brought her to this part of Guelph ... said she was helping a
friend move ... then she said that she was almost done, and that she would
head back to Scarborough ... and then, she asked me if there was anywhere
decent in Guelph to grab a donught and a coffee.  God, if there ever was a
sign to make a move, that was it.  I told her I knew of a decent place to
grab a bite, and asked her if she wanted to head there.  Five seconds
later, I got back in my car the happiest Scirocco owner this side of the
moon.

So, we went and had breakfast together.  Her name is Sheila, and she works
as a legal secretary in Markham.  Lots of pleasant small talk this
morning, and she invited me to a party she's having in a few weeks.

And yes, I got her number.  After she left, I gave my car a good washing,
and realized why it is that I drive Volkswagens.  We rock, people.

- -- Michael Helms

'81 Scirocco - the fixer-upper
'86 Scirocco - the happy, happy, happy daily driver and total GTI driving
girl magnet

Web Site:  http://www.continuum.org/helms

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