Re: Things i like to do in my Scirocco

[dogmatic <dharma@cocoloco.com>]

MIKE wrote:

> 1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.

What that isn't normal behavior?????

> 2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to
> headbang.  Listen to COOL music like Ani Difranco (my own imput:)).

I tend to listen to HARDCORE

> 3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously.
> With a look of fear, lock your doors.

Only in Newbergh, capital of the pimped out honda

> 4. Two words: Chicken suit.

Two others, Gorilla Suit, or even better yet, McGilla Gorilla Suit

> 5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint.
> The more it looks like blood, the better.

Or PimpKilller

> 6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger
> seat, when driving alone.

Don't you love my friend

> 7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

I do

> 8. Stop at the green lights.

I do this by accident

> 9. Go at the red ones.

I do this by accident

> 10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out
> your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.

Or wave your best friend out the window, and make him dance

> 11. Eat food that requires silverware.

What no Taco Hell?!!!???

> 12. Pass cars, then drive very slowly.

Pass other cars on the twisties, then see male ego enact

> 13. Sing without having the radio on.

Show tunes only

> 14. Honk frequently without motivation.

At other sciroccos, they will honk back

> 15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry
> look and an obscene gesture.

Except if it's another scirocco owner, then be happy and wave
ferverishly

> 16. Ask people for Grey Poupon.

Or cheap yellow mustard

> 17. Let pedestrians know who's boss.

I tried that once, got a ticket

> 18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.

I do this with enough coffee in me

> 19. Restart your car at every stop light.
> 20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk
> tothem, stroking them lovingly.
> 21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw
> their butts out the window.

Throw cigarettes into others cars on purpose (like when they are Nazis)

> 22. While stopped at a light, piss out the window/sunroof onto
> other cars.

> 23. Paint your car with occult symbols.

Plus bumper stickers that say things like "mary was an unwed teenage
mother" & "Joseph of Aramathia, a man with great aim"

> 24. Keep at least five cats in the car.

And a couple of pitbulls

> 25. Have some passengers in the back who are having wild, noisy
> sex.

And periodocaly join in

> 26. Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for firetrucks.

Clap for policemen

> 27. Stop and collect roadkill.
> 28. Stop and pray to roadkill.
> 29. Throw Spam.

which is roadkill

> 30. Get in the fast lane and gradually ... slow ... down ... to a
> stop. Then get out and watch the cars. Throw Spam at them.

Try this one in a nissan in a snowstorm, the cars name was Joanne

--
dharma

85 scirocco 8v (needs that thing that attaches the R&P steering to the
rack)
88 Golf GTI (will be on the road in a couple of weeks)

http://www.cocoloco.com/david/rocco.htm


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