Fw: The floggings will continue until the morale improves

[pb3vr6 at yahoo.com (Tonee Northam)]

He's doin ahte hilbilly thing now so most likely not, right Nate?

Ben Walter <toofast4you89@gmail.com> wrote:  that's bull! hey Parker, you going to make it to cincy next year? we had a
blast with you last time.

On 12/16/06, alex porter wrote:
>
>
>
>
> >From: "Kathy H Porter" 
> >To: 
> >Subject: Fw: The floggings will continue until the morale improves
> >Date: Sat, 16 Dec 2006 16:09:54 -0500
> >
> >
> >Hi there - I've cleaned this up of forwarded email addresses that you
> don't
> >need, but had to keep some "stuff" in so you could get the fish and the
> >whole email which is hysterical!
> >Enjoy! Kathy
> >
> >
> >
> > Subject: Fw: The floggings will continue until the morale improves
> >
> >
> > Out of Australia - and Merry Christmas to all...
> > I guess this is how they do things down under.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > -------Original Message-------
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:
> > Company Policy:
> >
> > Effective December 8 , 2006
> >
> >
> >
> > Dress Code
> > It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your
> >salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we
> >assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
> If
> >you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that
> >you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you
> >dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do
> >not need a raise.
> >
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of
> sickness.
> >If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
> >
> > Personal Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are
> called
> >Saturday & Sunday. Personal days are only available if your supervisor
> does
> >not need you to work on Saturday and/or Sunday. Therefore, personal days
> >may only be taken with the approval of your supervisor.
> >
> > Bereavement Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do
> for
> >dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to
> have
> >non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee
> >involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late
> >afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour
> and
> >subsequently leave one hour early.
> >
> > Toilet Use
> > Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now
> a
> >strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
> minutes,
> >an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door
> >will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your
> >picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic
> >Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> >sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
> >
> > Lunch Break!
> > Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more,
> so
> >that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch
> to
> >get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5
> >minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a
> Slim-Fast.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide
> a
> >positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
> >concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
> >insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and
> >input should be directed elsewhere .
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
> _________________________________________________________________
> MSN Shopping has everything on your holiday list. Get expert picks by
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