I didn't even change the cam! Pt.1(UBER LONG)

[scourge at cogeco.ca (Scourge)]

    So, as some of you know, I've been building up parts for a motor swap for the past month and a half. Well, the time has come, and gone. 
It all started off with the innocent checking of pocket rocket(a local Toronto VW site) forums. "Hey look, an ABA for sale...wow, only $300 and ready to use"........And there it begins. I started looking for parts, ordering parts, and begging for parts. At this time, I should point out, I'm 21 and the most in depth tech procedure I'd done was changing a cam, so I really didn't know what all I needed and wasn't very organized. The bills quickly added up from all the "while I'm in here....." stuff. 
    Fast forward, Fall Cincy: I had all my parts shipped to Dauns so I wouldn't have to deal with having stuff shipped through customs. Great, everything's here....wait, no downpipe......crap. Email our friendly neighbourhood TT dealer, Peter, and find out TT was backordered and didn't bother letting anyone know.......GREAT!! So, I'm in Ohio, two weeks till motor swap, no downpipe, TT is a week away from shipping it. No biggie, it'll show up just in time, and I'll have to spend a few extra bucks on customs stuff. 
    That brings us to this past Thursday. I email peter, who in turn emails TT, and lets me know they still suck, lol, more delays and the downpipe still hasn't shipped. GREAT! I'm two days away from the swap, and I have no downpipe to hook up my exhaust. This is my only car, so I'll have to steal my mom's car for a week and drive her to work and back while I wait for the DP to show up, I can deal with that. 
    Saturday morning, get started, Mark(collector of mk1's) shows up to help out(thanx again sooooo freaking much, there's no way I could've done this without your help) and we get at her. Mark starts disassembling the engine bay, while I begin motor assembly. I knew about the old block-off plate needed for the breather hole on the ABA block, I also had the frost plug(bigger then normal) for the round hole. And in true Scirocco fashion, the plug I had wasn't big enough.  So, 2:00 Saturday afternoon, we need a frost plug. lol, after about three places that said "yeah we got.....but we're closing" followed by "nope can't stick around for 2 minutes to wait for you" I finally found one with a nice guy. Yeah, a nice guy, he actually was willing to take 2 minutes out of his busy day to stick around and help out a kid in need.
    First casualty, I'm "walking" the motor back and forth to get it closer to the edge of the table and it decides to go all the way over....on my little finger. Some choice words, a little squeezing of the finger, and everything's ok(besides a sore knuckle). I think it was right after this when Blacky decided to tell Mark it wasn't happy about having it's 519000 km heart removed by "making" him stand up quick and take it's first of many hits on the back of his skull. THUD! .....yup, good ol hood latch. 
    I learned the hard way, PAY ATTENTION to what order all the things go on the block(water pump, crank pulley, timing belt cover, inner metal timing belt cover. Lol, I ended up putting the water pump on four times(yes 4), crank pulley three times, and water pump pulley twice. This was at about 12:30 on Saturday night, 12 1/2 hours into the swap. 
    Time to pull the old motor. Mark forgot his huge jack, and I only had a little one that lifts the car a whole 12". So the motor isn't really going to fit under the car to slide it out......unless we pull the head off first. OK, so that's the plan, pull the head off and use a head bolt with a chain to the engine brace(4x4 with some threaded rod) and let her down. ......crap, no chain....or anything equivalent for that matter. Sit around for a few and the Mark thinks, hey, metal coat hanger! Lol, ok, so I get one out, he bends it, and wraps one end around the head bolt a few times, and the other around the threaded rod. Jack up the engine, pull the motor mount bolts, and let her down. It's goes smooth till the last 4".....lol, clunk, motor's out! And we learn a valuable lesson about how strong coathangers are(read aren't).
    "Installation is reverse of removal" Sound familiar?  Hahaha, well, that's not exactly how it went this time. Two jacks, a few blocks of wood and a lot of swearing. And the motor is in place, insert bolt for drivers side mount.... now passenger side. Hold on that doesn't feel right, back out, in again..... crank crank crank, nope, no good. Turns out the nut was buggered(haha buggered nut) and to top it off, it started spinning in the little cage. So that was the end for Saturday night.
    Sunday morning, wake up, stagger into clothes and keep going on the motor, lol. Mark shows up with a bolt and nut for the motor mount and it works!! Next, take a grinder to the rain tray, that's right, ABA is taller, and the Audi 5K throttle body is bigger. We slowly continued through the afternoon and evening. It all went pretty smooth until the whole vacuum line thing. Mark managed to break both the "T"'s my car had while taking stuff apart, we had picked up new one during the trip for the frost plug. But of course, they're too small. So screw around for a while longer and retro-fit some of the lines from my 84' to get it all working. 
    On to the final bits and pieces. Hooking up lines, adding motor oil, gear oil, coolant. Mark made me laugh, so of course I spilled lots. By now it's about 10:30 and we move on to the CV's. Mark of course "forgot" his work clothes(just buggin ya) so I was doing all the under car work. First CV bolts up after some confusion and swearing. Second CV.....doesn't look right. Oh yeah, that because (of course) the P.O. had changed the passenger side flange/axle combo to a 90mm instead of 100mm.....Holy F*&^ing Hell!!!! There goes any chance of driving it tonight. So, I give in on that and decide to at least get it running. We cram the injectors in a mason jar to check the spray pattern. cycle the key....nothing. The lights and everything come on, but no fuel pump. #^%&$ $&% &%^ %^  %^$#!!!!! Ok, jump the relay, bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. WTF now it works. Injectors are good, relay back in, cycle the key, and all is well, ok?? Once everything's ready to go, I hop in and turn the key. Click, click, click.....AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!. Ok, battery is low. Grab marks out of his car, and hook up some jumper cables to it. Click. ........Jump to the starter terminal and it turns over. YAY!!! But doesn't start BOOO!!!!. Screw around with the timing and vroooom, glug glug glug glug. Hahahah, open manifold, no downpipe. Hehe, it runs it runs. It's 11:15 at night in a residential area and I just started a car with no exhaust, kill it. lol. 
    We ended the night on a high note, cleaned up, and pushed the car down the driveway so I could have it towed to the shop in the morning for a new axle(I had to work). 
End Part 1 long eh?  But not over yet, it likes to make me suffer. I'll get up the balls to finish this tomorrow.

-George