The Speeding Ticket

[pats16v at columbus.rr.com (Erik)]

Ha ha ha.  Man teets.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Anson Clement" <ansonivan@yahoo.com>
To: "Sara Arms" <gtigirlie@hotmail.com>
Cc: <scirocco-l@scirocco.org>
Sent: Wednesday, March 24, 2004 7:52 PM
Subject: RE: The Speeding Ticket


> Shit girl, if you know something I don't you need to speak up.... I wanna
play with the damn things if I have them!
>
> Anson
>
> Sara Arms <gtigirlie@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Anson... don't lie... you already have breasts. No need to grow *more*
>
>
>
> Sara
> Burlington, VT
> '84 Rabbit GTI
> '91 All-Trac Wagon "The ice trial champion"
> http://community.webshots.com/user/gtigirlie
>
>
>
>
>
> >From: Anson Clement
> >To: scirocco-l@scirocco.org
> >Subject: The Speeding Ticket
> >Date: Mon, 22 Mar 2004 14:52:01 -0800 (PST)
> >
> >
> >The Speeding Ticket
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >A Monday in mid March can be many things, in Ohio such a day is usually
> >rather shitty. The Monday I'm about to tell you about was balmy-ish,
> >uneventful, with just a hint of boring. I was tooling home from my last
job
> >of the day, my 8V Scirocco was running well for a car that's been beaten
> >like a two dollar Mexican whore and I was feeling good.
> >
> >I-70 between Zanesville and Columbus is a lonely rolling stretch of
> >highway, sections of which dip through mile and a half long valleys. It
was
> >at the lip of just such a hollow that the ever present urge to crush the
> >loud pedal snuck up on me, bludgeoned my better judgment, and had it's
way.
> >
> >The 8V surged forward with all the power and grace of a dead ostrich, the
> >new engine eschewed a wonderful symphony of rattles and clanks as the
tach
> >needle wavered past 5k. My brakes sent a wobbling complaint through the
> >pedal and into my suddenly heavy right foot, I saw him, but far too late.
> >The cruiser angled, door ajar, one boot on the ground, laser gun to eye.
I
> >swept by him at a suddenly attained 65, the baleful glare told all I was
> >well and truly fucked.
> >
> >As the beater struggled up the far side of the valley my eyes locked on
the
> >rearview, mind scrabbling desperately for a plausible lie. My speedo
cable
> >was in fact broken but the fact that I was passing other cars like a
> >supermodel in a buffet line might have cast doubt on the legitimacy of
such
> >a claim. I could say something about a stuck throttle but my complete
lack
> >of breasts might make the officer disinclined to let me off on such a
tall
> >one. One twenty in a sixty five was certainly a mandatory court
appearance,
> >no wait, this is Ohio, more like mandatory castration!
> >
> >I had now reached the other side of the valley of the shadow of death,
> >still no flashing lights, no speeding grey shape looming in my rearview.
> >Twenty minutes later and still no pork, the elation washed over me, the
> >smell of sweet reprieve almost covering the pungent odors emanating from
my
> >now soggy crotch.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Do you Yahoo!?
> >Yahoo! Finance Tax Center - File online. File on time.
> >_______________________________________________
> >Scirocco-l mailing list
> >Scirocco-l@scirocco.org
> >http://neubayern.net/mailman/listinfo/scirocco-l
>
> _________________________________________________________________
> Is your PC infected? Get a FREE online computer virus scan from McAfee?
> Security. http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963
>
>
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Finance Tax Center - File online. File on time.
> _______________________________________________
> Scirocco-l mailing list
> Scirocco-l@scirocco.org
> http://neubayern.net/mailman/listinfo/scirocco-l