Cincy 2003 - the planning starts now

[theonlyred16v@hotmail.com (Brian Haygood)]

haha,  all who pull the ricer apart should get a small "Rice Burner" sticker 
for their cars.

We have to make the car look like it was a real ricer, so the ricer's get 
really ticked off.

  Seriously, here is how I picture it.  We start the video like a feature 
article on the ricer (Somebody bring a babe in a bikini!).  Keep the camera 
far enough back that you can't spot the fact that the GIANT spoiler is paper 
mache, it's only lowered because it has no springs, etc.  I bet someone 
could pick up a huge chrome tip (and return it later if you want) from 
FLAPS.  A few cans of chrome spray paint can dress up the wheels.  Maybe 
some flourescent lights can be placed underneath to look like they are part 
of the car.  Who knows what else?  If somebody gets some ricer interior 
footage we can splice in, it would look like it has a decked out interior.  
We also need somebody to hand paint some kind of crud on it that looks like 
the usual vinyl.  Anybody know how to write "Honda's suck" in chinese?  Just 
good enough so the camera can't tell from several yards away that this isn't 
a totally built ricer.  Then...

zoom back.
zoom back.  What are those chains for?
zoom out.
zoom out.  What are those Scirocco's for??
zoom out.
Engine's racing...

(the floor pan is cut completely into five sections, one for each corner, 
and the rear (trunk/hatch, rear bumper, etc.), The A, B, and C-pillars are 
cut 90% of the way through from the inside. the door hinges are cut or the 
hinge pins and latches removed, the rear axle is unbolted (if it has one, 
how the heck should I know).  The engine is free of everything but the front 
crossmember.

8 'rocco's are attached.
one for each corner, one for each door (ten rocco's if its a 4-door), one 
for the back axle/rear bumper, one for the front bumper/ engine.

READDYYYY!!!!

GO!

We'd have to add some noise to the video, since the car won't make much 
noise as it breaks apart.

Notes:

Must use heavy chain, not tow straps, otherwise the parts will be catapulted 
into the pulling cars.

A little grass fire never killed anyone.  Oh, wait.  I guess it did.  
Nevermind.

As outlined above, the doors would pull off, then the whole car would be 
spread way out, stretching the roof and pillars flat with the sheetmetal 
from the corners stratched way out, then BOING!  The first corner would pop 
off.  The other three driver's might have to reposition, to pull off each 
successive corner.

I'd love to see a civic split so wide open that it takes up 30 feet in 
diameter before it snaps.

BH

I knew my engineering degree would come in handy some day.  Bring plenty of 
sawzalls and extra blades!

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