4 Cylinders, 16 Valves, and a LOT of smoke...

[Larry" <rocco16v@netzero.com (Larry)]

I was prepared to take you seriously, until I read the last sentence...

Larry






This post is long -- but it contains a funny Honda-racing incident... so
it's worth your time.  Besides, I need your help!! :)


My Darling Fellow Scirocco-Listers,

         Welcome to Jason's Volkswagen Mayhem.  In typical style, both of
my VWs have ganged up on me and left me home on a beautiful Sunday with no
way to leave the house.

         The Golf's 2-month old Master Cylinder went kerplewey.  At least,
I hope that's what happened.  The Scirocco's story is somewhat more
complicated.  Here goes:

Background:  Last October, the 'Roc got a 5,000 mile 2.0 16V from a wrecked
Jetta.  The car was fast as shit; wheelspin on demand, and I loved
it.  Stupid ass that I am, I decide I want more power, and that's when
things turned sour.  A few months ago, my buddy Scott and I put my original
(79,000 mile) 1.8-liter head back on, with a Schrick 260' intake cam,
adjustable cam gear, and a Supersprint race header and catless downpipe.  I
expected very little loss of low-end torque coupled with newfound high-rpm
gains.  What I got was a HUGE loss in low-end torque and a sizeable loss in
high-rpm power. I drove the car like this all summer -- to Cincy and back,
and to Waterfest and back.  Still got 32mpg, but now it felt like a car
that actually _should_ get that kind of mileage.

In the never-ending quest to get my car's Mojo back, I talked to Brett at
Waterfest and realized that my Schrick was 1 (chain) tooth advanced.  With
the help of Ben Harder, that was corrected the following day..  At stock
timing, the car was an absolute blast to drive... well, it would have been,
if I was on a track.  Under 5,000rpm, you'da thunk it was a 1.2 liter
3-cylinder.  Over 5,000 -- watch out -- the power built and built until it
smashed the rev limiter harder than Tanya Harding with a bag of
bricks.  Finally, I settled on 8' cam advance, which brought the torque
peak down to around 5,000.  I was still not convinced that it was as fast
as the stock 2.0, but a few gentle G-Tech runs put me in the upper 7s,
which meant I was at least close.

Possibly related aside:  From the instant we did the 1.8 head, the car cut
out momentarily when you took your foot off of full throttle.  DPR tests
fine -- and other than the head, nothing changed at all -- the sensors were
all kept, the intake, throttle, you name it.  Just the base head itself was
changed.  Bonus cookies if you can figure that shit out.

Last week:  Remember that 24,000 mile Scirocco I went and looked at?  Well,
on the hour-long drive there with my buddy Grant in the car, we came up to
a red light.  In Pole Position in each of the two lanes was a sport bike--
each revving their engines and ready to roar.  I was in 2nd position, and
next to me pulled up a certain mid-1990s Honda Civic hatchback that a
friend of ours had just sold.  It has a 2000 Civic Si motor in it, which
basically means it's fast.  He starts revving his engine like a spoiled
child, and I stick my nose in the air.  Feeling completely above that
childish behaviour and knowing that I would never engage in such
debauchery, I quickly ask Grant if I can take him.  Given Grant's answer,
"Yeah, you should be able to," I changed my tune -- and figured I'd show
that peasant in the Honda a thing or two about fast cars.  Light turns
green, and the two sport bikes are gone faster than you can say "Rice
Rocket".  The Honda is next to me... we both fucked up the launch, so now
we're slowly accelerating until 5,000, waiting impatiently for each motor's
torque to surge  -- at which point his VTEC kicks over... and my friggin'
knock sensor kicks me back to retard mode.  Figures, I guess I shouldn't
run 10' ignition advance in 95'F weather.  Anyway, he pulls on me, gaining
about 15 car lengths before my knock sensor decides to let me have fun
again... at 5,000rpm in 3rd.  My engine note changes from "Mary Had a
Little Lamb" to "Get the fuck out of my face" and Grant, having never been
in my car before, lets out a "holy shit!".  As I'm approaching 6,800rpm in
4th, we've gained serious ground and I'm starting to prepare my smug grin
for when we fly by him.  That's about when the motor fell on its face.  I
think to myself -- what?!  Rev limiter at 6,800rpm!?  And then I look in my
mirrors.  White out.  Grey smoke more dense than even Christina Aguilera's
implants.

Long story short, I realize a few minutes later (on the side of the road)
that oil is dumping out of my Jamex Airbox, and that earlier that day, as I
wondered why the car was 1qt low on oil, I had forgotten that my new
dipstick from VW reads a quart low -- and I now had 1 quart too many in the
car.  I tell Grant, now picking up the phone to call a tow truck, to get
back in the car, we're leaving.  He's totally baffled, looking at me like
like I'm nuts.  "Shut up and get in the car Grant, I'll explain it on the
way."  He about shit his pants when the car completely stopped smoking a
mile down the road.  Fucking Volkswagens and their
puking-oil-through-the-crankcase-ventilation-hose-crap.  I drive 100 miles
round trip; no smoking anywhere in site.  When I got home, I drained a
quart of oil and had my friend (who previously owned it) call the guy in
the Honda and announce happily, "By the way, the guy in the Scirocco didn't
blow his motor, and he wants a re-match."  Tee-hee. :)

I drive the car a few days, and it's perfect.  Still not insanely fast,
still does the full-throttle buck, but no smoke.  Then, out of nowhere, it
starts smoking again... constantly.  At idle, it's fine; no smell, no
smoke.  But rev it at all, and it'll start.  Drive normally and everything
in the rear view mirror looks hazy.  Floor it, and it's a veritable smoke
machine.   And it fucking stinks.  Now I'm getting nervous.

I did a compression test earlier today, and got even more nervous.  In
July, with the intake cam advanced one (chain) tooth, all 4 cylinders
measured between 193 and 211psi.  Today, all 4 measured between 162 and
175psi.... still within factory new spec, but waaayy lower than
before.  The #1 spark plug was black and greasy, the other 3 looked
fine.  My hypothesis was (and is) that the compression was so low because I
am running 8' cam advance (belt), meaning that the exhaust cam is opening
8' early, which may be before TDC.  What the fuck do I know, though...

So I figure that if only Spark Plug #1 looks nasty, oil is getting into
that cylinder only -- not being sucked through the intake.  Therefore, it's
an internal motor problem... so I get out the automobile equivalent of a
guillotine and behead the motor.  It's amazing how fast you can get the
head off of a 16V when (a) you've done it 6300 times in the last 6 months,
and (b) you want to know what the hell happened to your baby's motor.

Much to my absolute horror and amazement, all 4 pistons look
beautiful.  All 16 valves look beautiful.  The head gasket looks
beautiful.  There are no fluids where they shouldn't be.  WHAT THE FUCK!?

Both the intake and exhaust valves on cylinder one are clean and oil
free.  Cylinder 3 has a little burned oil on the intake valve stems... but
other than that, everything looks perfect.  The ol' 24mm socket was taken
out of retirement, and I spun the cams around a few times.  No binding, no
strangeness, and no evidence of any bent valves.

The cylinder walls are mirrors.  If you could fit your face in there, you'd
see your reflection.  No scratches, nothing... so I doubt I broke a ring.

At this point, it's going to be a while before I put the motor back
together (by the time I get new head bolts, a new head gasket, etc...) but
in the meantime I have to decide (a) which head to put back on, and (b)
whether to bother with the Schrick.  At the same time, I'd like to know (c)
what the fuck is going on, so (d) I can fix it and (e) it no longer smokes
when I put it back together.

Now -- here's where you all come in.  Could someone explain to me please
what the hell is going on?  Do you think it's possible/probable that I
killed my (admittedly 15-year old, 70k mile) valve seals by putting the cam
in?  I assume the Schrick has higher lift characteristics than the stock
cam, so that could easily be a recipe for valve seal failure.  How do I
know, though?  It's not like oil is pouring out of the valve seals...

The easiest thing for me to do would be to throw the 2.0 head on and see
what happens.... if it doesn't smoke, then I know it was the 1.8 head.  And
since the head only has 8k miles on it, I'd rather port & polish it and
then use it instead.  But here's the next wonderfully stupid thing I
did:  I noticed that I had the 2.0 head resting on two of the valves for
the last 3 months.  Granted, they were only slightly below the head
surface, and placed gently on a wooden shelf, but what are the chances that
I bent *those* valves?   If I have a P&P job done, they'll have to come out
anyway, right?  So I can test them then?

If you've made it all the way to the end of this verbose e-mail, I thank
you tremendously.  If you actually respond, I'll give you a blowjob at the
next car show. :)
[kidding, kidding!]

TIA!!!
Jason






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