Today's adventures with customs

[cwass99@rogers.com (cwass99@rogers.com)]

     Since we're telling border stories...
     I was in Windsor about 4 years ago visiting my brother.  On a Sunday
afternoon, we ran out of beer and the beer store was closed, but brillian=
t
idea, we figured hit the duty free shop at the border.  After duties adde=
d back
in, should cost the same as at the beer store.  So, off we went.  Got 2 c=
ases
of beer at the duty free, then whipped around into the returning to Canad=
a
lane.  When the border guard asked us how log we were away (I think he wa=
tched
us come across from the other side of the parking lot) we said we never m=
ade it
past the duty free.  He told us by law, we had to cross the border or hav=
e our
beer confiscated.  So, back across the lot (this was at the tunnel), pay =
the
fee and across we go.  Get to the other side and the agent askes us the p=
urpose
of the visit.  So we told him just turning around after buying beer at th=
e duty
free.  He looked at us like we were green, then said he didn't believe us=
.  We
whined at him for about five minutes, and he finally had a State Trooper =
come
over and escort us back to the toll booth so we could pay and go back to
Canada.  Hit the Canadian side a second time, same agent (yes, we did tha=
t on
purpose :)).  He asked us how long we were away, we told him about 15 min=
utes,
then he recognized us.   He said that was a lot of effort for some beer, =
but
directed us over to secondary inspection.  We paid the duty on the beer a=
nd let
the customs dudes fish around in the trunk.  Nothing in there except a sp=
are and
some old stinky rags.
     End result, 2 cases of beer, costing 2 tunnel fares (I think it was =
about
$10 back then) more than normal, an extra half-hour but it was worth it j=
ust to
see the look on the various customs official's faces.
     If I make it to Cincy, ask me about kidnapping Russian Nationals acr=
oss
the border to Indiana...too long to post I think.

Cheers,
Colin


On 02-Apr-2002 D=E9sinor Jean-Claude wrote:
>   Being a naive good citizen, during a shopping spree just across the
> border to Plattsburg, I resisted the urge to buy a small portable TV,
> thinking that what with duty and everything else, it would be a lot
> cheaper to get one in Montreal.
>=20
>   But my girl friend bought a pair of inexpensive shoes on sale at
> Sears, all of US$9.00
>=20
>   On our way back, I thought, what the heck, let us find out what they
> charge you when you report a purchase ... and when they asked if we had
> anything to declare, I said matter of factly "next to nothing, a pair o=
f
> shoes on sale".
>=20
>   Happens that shoes from Brazil are the most horrendously tarriffed
> items in the book. The customs people told us jokingly that we would
> have paid next to nothing if the shoes were made in Taiwan. I asked
> "what about a portable tv?" Well, they would probably *pay* me to bring
> one in ...
>=20
>   Sigh. Now, if it was my shoes, I would probably cringe and pay and ge=
t
> over it. But it was not *my* shoes, see ...
>=20
>   Anyhow, just for fun, anyone in the US wants leftover softwood lumber
> from my last wood project? :-)
>=20
>       Jean-Claude
>=20
> Cathy Boyko a =E9crit :
>>=20
>> Okay, so off I go again, too cheap to pay a broker, so I do the US mai=
ling
>> address thing, which I've done many times. And agree to have another s=
et of
>> goodies sent there for someone else, should be no problem. So I contac=
t the
>> other guy, who will not be named pending notification of his family, a=
nd we
>> set up a secret meeting place (okay, the Duty Free) and there we hatch=
 a
>> plot...So he is supposed to follow me, and I give him really skimpy
>> instructions on where we are going, since he is following me and we ha=
ve
>> cell
>> phones. (can you see where this is going?)
>>=20
>> I'm first through Customs, and have the passport all ready, and I deci=
de to
>> be
>> all honest (MISTAKE) and say I'm going over to pick up some car parts.=
 Well,
>> now it's Where? Are they for your car? ( well, yes, but the other guy =
is
>> getting some too but I don't mention that) What car are they for? And =
what
>> do
>> you do? Do you have a business? etc...it goes on for some time. I'm th=
inking
>> the other guy is toast, young, male, old car (MkI Rocco)...So I pull a=
head
>> and
>> wait, and wait, and wait, no signs of him. So off I go after it is cle=
ar he
>> ain't coming, and get the parts. I try phoning, but no cell service...
>>=20
>> So I hit the other side, with two of everything (we're talking Quaifes
>> here),
>> and go in to pay the taxes (and discover that "warrantee replacement" =
means
>> you still pay full taxes). Same deal...show me who you work for ( I pr=
oduce
>> my
>> teacher's card, looking for the Mohawk College one), are you reselling
>> these?
>> (would you like to see the four VW ownerships in my purse? yes, I coul=
d use
>> all those parts...) So I pay and then they decide to launch into a pho=
ne
>> verification of whether the business on the bill really exists, and th=
en the
>> car search. I'm a wreck by the time this is over, and still have no cl=
ue
>> where
>> the other guy is, could be in jail for all I know...but I have his dif=
f, so
>> I'm sure he was more worried. Turns out he got yanked in for interroga=
tion,
>> (something about his story being vague...) and we finally met up and a=
ll is
>> well. But serves me right for being honest. They must have served bad =
ham at
>> the Custom's Easter dinner. Bunch of miserable so and so's.
>> And it's not the Sept 11 thing either, I've done this since then and i=
t
>> wasn't
>> a hassle at all. I thought they were going to sieze it. Thanks for
>> listening.
>> Now tell me your worst Customs horror story. It wouldn't bother me, bu=
t I
>> had
>> real bills and paid on the full value and they still made me feel like=
 a
>> criminal. Next time I'll just smuggle...
>> Done ranting, Cathy
>>=20
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>=20
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--=20
Cheers,
Colin

If you can read this line, you're probably not illiterate.